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What's in a name?

My dear sunshine, I got to see you for the first time around four years ago. You had a different name then and we hadn't spoken to each other much. I just knew you as Varun's classmate, someone who brought out the best competitive spirit in him. I liked you then too, although I hardly knew how much of an impact you would have on me as the years passed.

You moved to Chennai for a year and more and that's when I think I started missing you a little. I had spoken to Amma during that time and she had mentioned how much she missed you and how Varun was giving her that much-needed solace. For a parent, I guess it's hard to live away from kids. I had been through that when Varun was in Kotagiri and now, Amma had to. I somehow wished, for her sake, that you would come back. During that period, I got to know all your classmates and some of the juniors too. Shri was the one I knew the most, by virtue of living close by and meeting up with her parents on a regular basis. The rest of them I would meet during functions or whenever I came to school off and on.

The day I met you after your return will forever be etched in my mind. I will consider it my rebirth. The timing of your return couldn't have been better. I was at my most depressed, feeling lost and having no clue on what to do. Your warmth reignited the spark in me and I'm back to feeling positive again. I feel so much more lighter whenever I see you. Each day, each moment, I think of you. Isn't that what a father is supposed to do? I have shared so much emotions with you and Varun over the last two months that I probably have hidden inside me for ages. Even Varun is seeing a different side of me now, a side that he had once seen a long time ago and what he probably thought was lost for ever. And for bringing out the real me from the abyss, I owe Amma my life. If she hadn't started Samskaara, I may have never found you!

There are no words to describe the gratitude I have for Amma. For her, to have accepted me as a friend and to trust me enough to allow you to be with me, no amount of thanks or words would be enough. Somewhere, I seem to have done some good to have even met her and to have interacted with her so much. Destiny? I don't know. I think it was my father from above who guided me to her because if I hadn't met her, I would have been lost without you! There's a reason why I strongly believe it was him.

I am an atheist, but I believe God exists in people. In that sense, for me, Amma is one. She has indirectly and directly watched over me, ensuring that she was always there for Varun. My conversations with her have always had a huge impact on me.

My sweet darling, there are things that I can't do now that I wish I could. I know that there has been a vacuum in your life during your growing years. I can understand how hurt you would have felt and how lonely you would have been. I can only promise you this. I will be there for you as much as I possibly can. I shall treat you the way you should be treated, like my princess, so much so when a man enters yours life, I know you will not settle for anything less. I will love you till my last breath for I see you as my own.

At the end of it all, I know that when you smile, you make me smile. So what's in a name? You are a part of me now and it doesn't matter whether you call me 'uncle' or 'dude' or whatever else, we both know we are father and child.

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